9 tips to help your child cut off from a selection camp

Selection camps can be a stressful and disappointing time for young athletes, especially when they don’t make a team. As a parent, you have a vital role to play in helping them get through it. Even if you don’t agree with the coach’s decision, it’s important not to show your frustration to your child. Your priority should be to support his emotions and help him progress. Here are 9 practical tips to help your child through this difficult period.

• Benefits for your child :
  Validating children’s emotions means showing them that their feelings of sadness, frustration or anger are normal and acceptable. Saying things like “I understand that you’re disappointed, it’s normal to feel like that after such an effort” helps the child not to feel alone in his distress. It also fosters a climate of trust in which the child feels free to express his or her emotions without judgment.
• Why it makes all the difference ?
  In the short term, this helps children recognize and accept their emotions rather than repressing them, which can prevent self-destructive behavior or unresolved frustrations. In the medium term, they learn to better understand and verbalize their feelings, which is essential for their emotional and social development. In the long term, this will enable him to face other failures or disappointments with greater emotional maturity.

• Benefits for your child :
  By helping your child to put things into perspective, you’re helping him develop resilience in the face of adversity. It helps them understand that failure is part of the road to success, and that there are always opportunities to bounce back.
• Why it makes all the difference ?
  Learning to see this cut as a stage, rather than an end, helps your child maintain a positive outlook. Sharing inspiring stories, like that of Michael Jordan, who was cut from his basketball team before becoming one of the greatest players of all time, shows that failure is only part of the journey. It reinforces the idea that persevering, despite setbacks, can lead to great success.

• Benefits for your child :
  Encouraging perseverance helps your child develop a growth mindset, where challenges and setbacks are seen as opportunities to learn and progress. It instills in him the value of continuous effort and determination.
• Why it makes all the difference ?
  Showing your child that setbacks are normal and part of progress helps him to focus on improving rather than failing. Suggesting concrete actions, such as taking extra practice sessions or working on specific points, can reinforce his desire to persevere. For example, suggesting: “Why don’t you train with a private coach this summer to improve your shooting technique?” shows that solutions exist to overcome difficulties and improve.

• Benefits for your child :
  By rewarding effort rather than results, you boost your child’s self-esteem and encourage him to keep on giving his all. It teaches them that the value of their work depends not only on the end result, but also on how far they’ve come and the progress they’ve made.
• Why it makes all the difference ?
  Focusing on effort and progress allows your child to concentrate on what he can control, rather than feeling defined by failure. For example, by saying, “I’m so proud of all the work you’ve done this summer. Your improvements in endurance are remarkable!”, you’re showing him that his hard work and determination are being recognized, which motivates him to persevere in his future efforts.

• Benefits for your child :
  Setting new goals, no matter how small, helps to restore the child’s sense of control. After a disappointment, it’s easy for him to feel powerless. Proposing realistic, achievable goals helps to keep him motivated and moving forward despite rejection. It also helps him understand that the road to success is made up of stages, and that each intermediate objective brings him closer to his final goal.
• Why it makes all the difference ?
  In the short term, the child can focus on immediate objectives, such as improving a specific technical aspect (e.g. dribbling or shooting). In the long term, he will develop discipline and the ability to plan his efforts, which will be useful not only in his sporting activities, but also in other aspects of his life.

• Benefits for your child :
  Exploring other options keeps your child active and motivated, while opening doors to new experiences. It shows him that there are always alternatives to keep improving and having fun, even after a setback.
• Why it makes all the difference ?
  By offering alternatives, you give your child a chance to pursue his passion in another form, thus reducing the sense of loss. For example, seeking out local teams, recreational leagues or alternative sports, such as a futsal club if traditional soccer isn’t an option, allows your child to continue playing and developing while broadening his or her sporting horizons.

• Benefits for your child :
  By sharing examples of figures he admires – whether athletes, celebrities or even family members – who failed before succeeding, you help the child put his own situation into perspective. It shows him that rejection or failure are not ends in themselves, but normal stages in any journey to success.
• Why it makes all the difference ?
  In the short term, this can give him a different perspective on his current failure. For example, telling the story of an athlete who failed several times before achieving success can help the child see that failure is only a temporary obstacle. In the long term, this can instill a growth mindset, where he sees failures as opportunities to learn and improve.

• Benefits for your child :
  Giving children the opportunity to make decisions after a setback helps them regain control of the situation. This may mean deciding whether to try again next year, or whether to explore a different activity. By allowing him to choose his next steps, you’re teaching him to be more independent and to think proactively about his future.
• Why it makes all the difference ?
  In the medium term, this approach can boost self-confidence. For example, a child who decides to enroll in a different camp or take up a different sport, after reflecting on his preferences and ambitions, will develop decision-making skills that will stand him in good stead throughout his life. This will help them feel capable of overcoming future challenges in an independent and thoughtful way.

• Benefits for your child :
  By keeping your emotions to yourself, you help your child to manage his or her own feelings without being influenced by yours. This allows him to focus on his own journey and approach the situation with a calmer, more rational mind.
• Why it makes all the difference ?
  Critiquer l’entraîneur ou remettre en question la sélection devant votre enfant peut renforcer ses émotions négatives et l’encourager à se focaliser sur les aspects hors de son contrôle. En adoptant une attitude de soutien et en évitant de montrer de la frustration, vous lui montrez l’importance de rester concentré sur ce qu’il peut améliorer. Cela crée un environnement positif où il peut apprendre à gérer les déceptions de manière constructive.

Sports failures, though difficult, are opportunities for growth. As a parent, you can turn this experience into a moment of learning and personal development for your child. Together, you’ll build a resilience that will serve him throughout his sporting life and beyond. By adopting these practical tips, you’ll help your child navigate this period with confidence and optimism, strengthening their commitment and passion for sport.